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Q: Why can’t I send sympathy flowers to the funeral service?

A: Sympathy flowers are to express your personal message of condolence; the flowers are hand-tied or gift-wrapped bouquets designed to be displayed in a private residence, where the recipient can care for them upon arrival and enjoy them for longer. Flowers for a funeral service and wake are public tributes and are designed differently (often as wreaths or sprays) so that they can be displayed on tables or coffins without the need for vases and extra arranging by the recipient.

Q: Could you advise on some appropriate words for a sympathy card message?

A: The trick is to follow your heart; phrases such as ‘in our thoughts’ and ‘with deepest sympathy’ should be used in moderation. A personal message, however clumsily expressed, will be appreciated far more than a litany of clichéd sayings. Perhaps you have a vivid memory or even a meaningful poem or song lyric that you can use as a starting point.

Q: Do sympathy flowers have to be white?

A: Not at all. White is associated with calm and tranquility, which is why pale flowers are often the first choice at a time of loss. There’s nothing to stop you from sending something with a bit of colour, though; what’s important is choosing something that you think will help make a difficult time a little bit easier for the bereaved.

Florist Tips

Did you know that, in general, white and pale flowers are particularly strongly scented? Think oriental lilies, tuberose, tazetta and narcissi. Freesia are an exception to this - darker red and pink varieties have the strongest scent.