It’s hard to find couples that seldom argue, from something as petty like who’s on laundry duties, to unwashed dishes, to who makes dinner that evening…but of course not all relationship issues are deal-breakers, and it’s usually when you let frustrations fester they become a problem.
Whether you and your partner are celebrating your six month or six-year anniversary, it’s always a good idea to identify and confront newfound (and more importantly ongoing) issues. It’s where to start that’s the difficult part. It’s never going to be easy to initiate a conversation about your partner’s laziness or short fuse without making them angry or upset. However, there are ways of broaching the topic, and you could always sweeten a potential blow or say sorry with a set of beautiful romantic blooms. Here at Serenata Flowers, we have an array of romantic flower selections that can help to improve the mood of your other half and put a smile on their face. Here we’ve taken a look at seven of the most common relationship issues and how to fix them…
1. You hold it all in
The fear of speaking up or saying what it is you really think can cause resentment to build up over time. Sharing your feelings isn’t always easy but it’s extremely important, even if you risk sounding like you’re nagging at your partner. Sharing your needs can actually boost happiness levels for both people in the relationship. Conflict is a good thing because it’s an opportunity to grow, learn from mistakes and deepen relationships. Look to always communicate in a productive way to ensure you both get the most out of the conversations.
2. You put up emotional walls
Whether you have a lack of trust due to a past relationship or find it difficult to share your feelings, when you allow parts of your deepest self to show, it’s not uncommon to feel scared. Revealing more about yourself to a new partner can be incredibly unnerving, but it’s an important part of being in a relationship as it will help you to be both seen and understood. Disclosure is one of the main ways to ensure a successful relationship. Try planning a physical activity such as running or golf with your partner – research suggests that when couples embark on a physical activity together, they are more in sync with each other, and are able to enjoy a physical closeness that increases oxytocin, which also heightens feelings of trust. Romantic gestures such as giving flowers, plants or other gifts can help to break down some of the boundaries between you and can instead evoke positive feelings – something that will massively benefit a relationship in the long term.
3. You’re a people pleaser
In many partnerships, it’s not unusual to feel like it’s your job to take care of your partner’s feelings. Constantly trying to please your other half is, in fact, a little controlling! You will likely think you’re being both caring and compassionate, when in fact trying to please them all the time can create distance and tension between the two of you. It’s important to let your partner grow by learning from their own mistakes.
4. You’re a perfectionist
Perfection is downright impossible in all areas of your life, particularly in relationships. Trying to make your relationship perfect can put a whole host of pressure on it, causing both stress and resentment. In addition to this, when things don’t go your way, the body jumps into threat mode, generating a fight, flight, or flee response.
Understanding and accepting your partner’s weaknesses is a great way to understand your own faults. It will also result in more effective communication.
5. You play the blame game
To maintain a healthy relationship, you must admit when you are wrong. Pointing fingers or placing blame on our nearest and dearest will likely result in a row of some sorts. If you’re arguing with your partner, the aim shouldn’t be to show them that you’re right, it should be to solve the problem in an effective, caring way and encourage them to open up to you. Simply attacking your partner will likely make them defensive. Even if you are right, this is not the way to get what you want. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes but these mistakes are not a reflection of our partner’s true selves. Recognizing mistakes and taking steps to rectify them or apologize can help – romantic flowers are a great way of saving sorry and for cheering up your other half.
6. You’ve grown apart
He or she may have been your first love and although they play a major part in your life when you’ve been together for many years, it’s not uncommon to grow apart. You may now have different interests, goals and friendship groups, all of which is fine, but if you no longer have a common ground or enjoy doing anything together, it may be time to talk about these issues. Before calling it a day, try to remember what it is you both loved about each other when you first met, and what you used to enjoy doing together. Designate one day or evening a week to spend some quality time together and see if anything changes.
We all argue but if it’s happening more often than not, now is the time to put a few rules for rows in place, such as taking time out, sticking to the point and trying not to raise your voice at one and other. It’s hugely important to make time to talk about issues before they build up, write things down and ask yourself what’s really making you feel unhappy. Arguments about whose turn it is to wash the dishes or take the kids to school are often about deeper issues that you find it hard to express, such as sadness or anger.