Getting married may very well be one of the most important moments of your adult life. Naturally, you should do it with someone you love; otherwise, it might prove to be quite an exhausting ordeal.
Whether you are a man or a woman, the alpha or the beta or the zeta of the relationship, the ‘bread-winner’ or the “yes, dear” kind of person, getting married is stressful.
Although the author of this text had never married, it really looks like it is.
Once you decided to get married, you are effectively entering a social as well as legal contract. However, first and foremost, marriage is a celebration of your love for one another.
On that day you show your partner that you are committed to them, show the world that what you intend to do with this person is serious business, and agree to be bound to them both by an oath, a varying degree of social pressure, as well as the law.
We have decided to put together a list of 15 funniest and weirdest proposals you might see, hear about, or one day even act out yourself.
Let’s ease you into this. To start with, we’ll keep it simple – you can either engage in an activity both you and your partner like, travel somewhere nice (you know… Paris and the city of love and all that game), or simply take them by the hand – and profess your undying love for them. Minus the sap, of course.
Pet owners, tie a ring box or proposal note to your pet’s collar. Just don’t let the dog eat it or something like that.
As a general relationship rule, if you want your marriage to succeed, be honest with your partner.
On the other hand, if you want your marriage to fail miserably, propose to them at a soccer or baseball or basketball game. Nothing says I love you like their face on a giant TV screen with thousands of people staring.Tell them you never want to get married, and then appear with a ring a few hours later. Do bear in mind that your partner might leave you by the time you get home – so tread lightly and use wisely. Or don’t use it at all, because it’s insulting, demeaning, and not the least bit funny.
Write ‘Will you marry me, Person?’ in giant letters on the ground. Go skydiving. Once your parachute opens and the fear of a ridiculously gruesome death passes, tell them to look down. If they say no, however, you’re in for a very awkward floating session down to the ground. So only propose if you’re sure they’ll accept. Actually, use that as a general rule when proposing – never do it if you’re not sure of the response.
Learn the Heimlich maneuver. Hide the ring in their champagne glass or dish. Hope they don’t swallow it. Hope they don’t choke. Curse yourself for not opting for a much simpler, straightforward, less clichéd proposal.
Give them a bouquet of flowers while proposing. Why? Because if you buy them from Hipper, you’re guaranteed to get an ecstatic ‘yes’. Shameless self-promotion over.
Create a Treasure Hunt, a game which you will play with your partner, and where the final reward will be a ring. Naturally, they won’t know that going in. Leave hints all over the city, house, whatever you feel like (the larger the area of the hunt, the greater the effect), and may the search begin. Do hide the ring well, though, because your little game, as well as the entire month, year or life may end up ruined if you find out someone had nicked it.
Send them a fake wedding invitation which invites them to your wedding. With them, of course. “Dear Person, we are happy to invite you to our wedding this July. Kisses, Person and Mrs. Person.” This is a somewhat original, and in its own right, witty proposal.
If you’re really into this person, and you have quite a bit of time to waste on your overly dramatic proposal, write them a book. It will be a tale of you two, complete with different names, lots of characters, and structural complexity. Mind you, it has to be good literature. You’re not proposing with a book that reads like a 6th grader tried his hand at writing.
Get their favorite singer, painter or author to mention them at a concert, exhibition or reading. Heck, if they’re up for it, they can even give them the full line: “Person, Person number two wants to marry you. Do you accept?”
If they’re into nature, take them for a submarine ride. And all of a sudden, scrawled across the ocean floor (just carefully arranged stones, no pollution) lies the question. However, much like the parachute example, make sure they’re really willing to marry you. Otherwise, the ride up to the surface may be really awkward.
More of a general guideline: take them shopping and let them buy whatever (literally, as long it’s in your budget) they want. Fuel up those endorphins and release the serotonin. Then pop the question.
We will end this list with some more shameless and, frankly, despicable self-promotion. Whichever of the 14 ways to propose you decide to go with (and we wholeheartedly recommend no. 1), don’t go empty-handed. Hipper will help you! Buy them a bouquet of flowers, a beautiful, carefully crafted card, or a basket of fruit. Okay, how about this for some blatantly false self-promotion? If you go with one of our gifts while proposing, you will definitely get a ‘yes’! For real, though – it won’t hurt your chances.
Dear Proposers and Proposees, we hereby end this list. Be smart, be good, and choose wisely – this might be one of the most important choices you ever make in your life. If the person next to you respects you, is kind to you, loves you and treats you the way you want to be treated… well, then life becomes a whole lot nicer.